Wednesday, July 27, 2011

5 Reasons Why I'll Never Drink Goat Milk

 So while starring blankly at my coffee table this morning a random thought jumped into my head. Goat milk. Would I ever try it? And after giving it some intense thought I decided no, no I would not. And to justify my reaction to goat milk I decided to make a list to the reason. So here they are.

1. Goats look sweaty. Which makes me feel that it would make the milk taste salty. Who would want a salty drink to go along with their cereal in the morning? And I feel the salt would fuel the flames if I was trying to use goat milk to calm my mouth after a spicy food attack.
  after goat milk

2. I feel it would be a personal insult to cows. I've gone my whole life just drinking their milk if I changed now I worry they'd think something was wrong.

3. Anything that can also be turned into a great bar of soap shouldn't also be edible in my book.

4. I was attacked by a goat when I was 13. I still have some scars that can't be fixed by applying a little Maderma Scar Gel on them. If only emotional scarring was that easy to cure...
When I rubbed Maderma on my head to heal emotional scars all I get it is weird looks.

5. They have actually dairy cows . That makes me feel better about drinking cow milk. They're known for milk. Do they have dairy goats? I didn't think so.

After rereading my list of negative thoughts about goat milk I started to feel maybe I'm being a little too hard on the whole thing. Maybe goat milk wouldn't be so bad. I mean, I've never tried it so I also have to look at the good as well. ( I'm pretty indecisive if you can't tell. )
So here are my 5 reason why I WOULD try goat milk.

1. I own goat milk soap. I guess if I ever have to survive in my bathroom for a length of time not only would I smell clean but I maybe wouldn't starve!

2. The goat that attacked me was once my friend. I would try it in memory of her. I miss you Pearl. Ever thought you tried to maul me to death.

3. There are worse things out there to try than goat milk. If I ever did feel risky goat milk would be safer to try than, say, crack cocaine.

4. Some cultures LOVE goat milk. Why should I judge them?

After writing that last one I then thought, "Some cultures also eat brains and intestines" and that stopped me right in my tracks.That thought was all I needed to stop me making my maybe list.

So in the end, no. No I will never drink goat milk. If you eat intestines and brains and even goat milk I say good for you! Not my cup of tea!

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