Saturday, July 30, 2011

Attack of the mighty morphing fuzz

I am a coward. I was always a coward and I will always be a coward. This could not have been demonstrated more than the years I had to spend sharing a room AND bed with my older sister.

During Those years I always made my sister sleep on the outside of the bed and I had the side next to the wall because I always figured if a monster ever crept into our room it would go ahead and eat my sister first while I then could run away with my life. I thought it was best idea yet. 

I probably wouldn’t be such a coward if it was for my dang imagination that always runs wild. My imagination always use to get me into trouble.  It would turn the simplest of things into the worst kind of horrors that would even make Stephen King wet himself.  I will never forget how wild my imagination got the night I saw the fuzz in the hallway late one night.
That night after my mom tucked us in, cracked our door so I could use the hall light as a night light I immediately felt something was wrong. The light seemed a little off. When I looked out into the hallway what I thought was the biggest spider I had ever seen in my six year old life!  What really happened was my imagination turned this

Into this

And then I guess that wasn’t scary enough for my mind so it then turned into this

Naturally it would grow a flame thrower on its head.  But of course my brain wouldn’t let it stop there.

HUGE FANGS! It must have huge fangs! I thought as I starred it down from the safety of the corner side of the bed. But then wait! Does it have…?

It does! It does have mini spiders on its feet! But did it stopped there?? NO! 


By then, of course, I was wigging out. Anyone with a foot long spider with a flame thrower on its head, giant fangs, mini spiders on its feet, and radioactive would be scared to death. At this point I felt no longer like myself. The fear had taken over to the point of me feeling like a squealing pile of jell-o.


I had no idea what I should do. Sure, I was safe on the inside of the bed, but there was no way I could just sit and wait for the spider to crawl in here and eat my sister. I had to act. I wanted to be able to sleep sometime tonight and that wasn’t going to happen with a spider planning to eat us in the hallway.

Part of me wanted to wake up my sister and have her be the one to solve this problem but the coward in me stopped that thought. I was worried that if she was awake she would run away and then there would be no one for the spider to eat before me. I had to do this one my own.

I surveyed the room from my post. I needed to find something to kill the spider with. Out of the corner of my eye I saw what I needed. My sister’s softball bat. The only problem was this was a close range weapon. I would have to face the spider head on. I think the only thing that made me able to muster up the courage to go through with this was the thought that dangit! I needed to grow up sometime. I figured fighting a giant spider with a flame thrower, fangs, mini spiders, and radioactive was the perfect time.

I slowly crept towards the bat keeping my eye on the spider the whole time. There was no way I was going to let it sneak up on me.  I grabbed the bat, took a deep breath, and CHARGED!

I screamed and shouted as I pounded that spider with every ounce of strength I had. I must have wailed on it for a good ten minutes. I was so focused on saving my life and my family’s that I didn’t even realize that my whole family got out of bed and were staring at me with a puzzled and somewhat frightened look on their faces.



And that was the night I saved my family’s life.

On a side note, for about a month after this incident my mother would vacuum the hallway every night before I went to bed.

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